Who Am I Kidding?

New Year’s Day, 2009! Yay! Whoopee! Okay, enough of that. Somehow, the calendar fools us in to thinking we have to start fresh on January 1. A new beginning. As if, by tearing another page from the calendar will give us a brand new approach to living. People, including myself, tend to make ‘resolutions’ for the new year to come. We want to not do what we did last year, so that we may be a better person in the new year. We also like to make promises to ourselves to improve our lives and be happy. No stress there! LOL

Well, I, for one, resolve not to make any new year’s resolutions. I am going to be good to myself, which means not setting my personal ‘bar’ so high that I can’t begin to reach it. If I’m not spending enough quality time with my grandchildren, there is probably a darn good reason. Why guilt myself in to stressing that I don’t give them enough? I did that all the years my three children were coming up. Rather than count what I was able to do for them, I was dwelling on what they didn’t have and what I couldn’t give them.

When we are in our teens and twenties, we think we know so much and are savvy to all that life brings our way. In reality, we are still ‘wet behind the ears’, knowing only about those things in which we have had experiences. In our thirties and forties, we mellow some and begin to apply what we have learned in a series of ‘trials and errors’. As our bodies begin to show signs of wear and tear, we start to realise how valuable our wisdom is to us. We acknowledge the life’s lessons we have learned, so far, and use them to identify who we are and what we stand for.

Then, where I am at, middle age, or the fifties, comes along. I feel so full of wisdom. The hard knocks and fast living life style I was accustomed to when younger, impritted their lessons on my psyche and it feels nice. My skin is drying, my eye sight is waning, my gall bladder is gone, and I feel like I’m shrinking. But, the things that I have had the good fortune of learning about this world and about myself, have given me cause to feel ‘at one’ with me. I feel that I know myself more than I ever have and, probably, ever will. I am sure of many things – what I do not want and what I definitely do want. After raising a family, that was a feat in and of itself. LOL

Now, it is my time. I don’t mean to sound selfish, here, but, I have things I would like to do. I want to expand my knowledge of Photoshop. I want to continue studying my spirituality. I have discovered so much, thus far. So, rather than creating a list of “ideals” that I want to strive to accomplish, I refuse to promise me, or anyone else, anything. LOL Aside from my responsibilities, I am “going with the flow” of nature, and life, in general.

My paths, spiritual and artistic, run parallel, sometimes veering away from each other, sometime overlapping. With my PC and the time, finally, to spend on my personal ventures, I am on a full-scaled journey. Obviously, on an actual journey, one doesn’t experience a place until one arrives to it. So it is in life. I can use caution, practice all I have learned and protect myself in the glow of the ‘light’, all in an effort to prepare myself to receive what I encounter on my journey.

I hope everyone has a good year, full of successes and dreams that come true.



2 thoughts on “Who Am I Kidding?

  1. Hi Su, happy new year!!I agree that we all spend so much effort making resolutions at this time of year…mostly to be broken!! But it is a calendar thing. Why on 1 January do we suddenly decide to change? Change is a gradual thing and it happens overtime, or at least to be lasting it does.Thank you for the wonderful comment on my blog, the advice is sound “This will pass”…but please…make it soon!! LOl!!


  2. Hello this is Channi D you left me a wonderful comment on my blog! i just wanted to say thank you so much of encouragement i am going to put a new one out today or tomorrow its a little different even for me lol….. is going to be a 60’s phycidelic ha ha… im trying to put as many as i can up my internet is due to be shut off its been real hard for us here, so if you dont see anything for a while that is why. but am hoping to get a wholee bunch up before it happens. i am making a blinkie page and if you want you can snag a couple! i will send people your way as well my dear friend! what a beautiful soul you have! i hope that you will be happy no matter what!HugsChanni D


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